no excuses

My shame is not an excuse to avoid my art.

It’s not an excuse to avoid pushing myself

out of my comfort zone.

My shame is not an excuse

to avoid singly loudly and put myself out there

for the world to see fully, even if it’s scary.

I cannot reap the benefits of self expression

if I fail to express myself.

I’m too tired to care what other think anymore.

I’m so tired of not being who I am.

Of shrinking myself down into a box

that’s just the size of what other people can stand.

I’m so tired of letting shame hold me back.

Letting the judgement of others keep me invisible.

Of hearing why your belief system gets to dictate my life

or the choices I make with my body

how I express myself in this world

or how I spend my time.

I’m so tired of masking my emotions

for the comfort of others.

I’m tired of worrying

if the needs of others are being met

when I’m not even meeting my own.

I know who I am

I finally fucking know who I am.

And I’m living evidence that people like me

are meant to take up space in this world.

As long as I live on this earth

I erode the unstable foundation

of the lies they use to justify our erasure.

Here we are.

We’ve always been here

and we aren’t going anywhere.

There is no excuse any longer

to hide our work from the world

out of fear about how it will be received.

No more downplaying my strengths

or surrendering to my limitations.

Art is a critical form of protest

that’s essential to the survival of my community.